The Dhaka Times Desk Bangladeshi young Kazi Mohammad Rezwanul Ahsan Nafis, sentenced to 30 years in the United States, who hated America and planned to blow up the Reserve Bank of America, has written a letter to the judge asking to be spared the punishment. In the letter, he dramatically mentions his love for America, along with realizing his mistakes.
After going to the United States on a student visa, Nafees was caught in the trap of American intelligence. He was caught red-handed while making final preparations to blow up the federal building with fake explosives. After a long 10-month trial, the court announced the final sentence on August 9. Accused accused Nafis wrote a letter to the court judge before the court announced its verdict. The letter mainly focuses on Nafis' self-realization and admission of guilt along with remorse. Many analysts, however, said Nafis' letter was merely an attempt to curry favor with the judges and reduce his guaranteed sentence. Although there are many heart-touching words in the letter, most of it is just the words of Nafis's lawyer to reduce his punishment. However, this letter did not succeed in reducing the punishment in the criminal trial.
Let's find out what Nafees wrote in his letter to the judges. The entire letter New York Daily News Adapted from online journals.
July 31, 2013
Honorable Judge
Chief United States District Judge
Eastern District of New York
I am Qazi Mohammad Rezwanul Nafis. What I wanted to do was really horrible. I am very sorry for that. My only relief now is that no one was harmed by my stupidity.
I no longer believe in Islamic fundamentalism. I hate it from the bottom of my heart. It is completely evil and inhumane. This is not Islam at all. I will always regret supporting this work, which in part led me to a career in mediocrity. I will forever regret this act.
Please accept what I am about to say. Please accept my appeal not only for the clear explanation of my feelings about remorse for my actions, but also for the clear acceptance of the crime and the realization of the crime. At the same time I hope for your mercy and forgiveness.
My actions are inexcusable and cowardly. After thinking about it deeply, I hated my actions. I know, in future I will never be able to do any kind of work again, because it is not only un-Islamic, it has destroyed my family and my life, above all, I have lost my head because of this misery of life.
I had quite a stuttering problem from a very young age and it lasted for years. I had no real friends. He did not have a good relationship with his parents. I grew up alone. I have tried all my life to be something. But in the end nothing happened. This is totally disappointing for me and my family. I was nothing but a 'loss project' to my parents. All their efforts for me have failed. My life was completely wasted due to no success.
As a naive person, I was easily swayed by people's words. I had no real friends in my university life in Bangladesh. So when influential and famous radical friends came around, I easily fell in with them. By mixing and listening to them, I became religious, but never felt that I was slowly moving in the wrong direction. But it was definitely wrong teaching in the name of Islam.
I once migrated to the United States to stand on my own feet in search of fortune. I didn't want to be a burden to the family anymore. I was hoping to continue my living and study expenses by earning income. But none of that happened, instead I increased the burden of my parents' expenses behind me. To save cost, I send the educational qualification documents from Bangladesh University to Missouri State University. But the standard of educational qualification was very poor. This stopped my studies in that university. Later I moved to Albany, New York with my uncle. Looking for a job. But did not succeed. Uncle did not stay there for long because of his aunt's disapproval.
After that I went to my distant relative Sonia in Queens, Jamaica. I got some jobs there but couldn't continue any of them. I started to feel like a failure physically and mentally in terms of achieving success. I couldn't keep up with the fast paced competitive world. I began to sink into deep depression.
One day I had a heated argument with Sonia's father. He insulted me for a small mistake. After this incident it became impossible for me to stay with Sonia. I cherished another Bangladeshi girl, with whom I dreamed of my future. At one point I realized that he was cheating on me. After knowing that, the last comfort was erased from my mind. The whole sky seems to have collapsed on my head. I felt that I had no place in this world. There is no point in living.
But I could not even commit suicide as it is forbidden in Islam. I lost the ability to think straight, I became angry. This is how the idea of ending oneself through jihadist activities comes. After a few days, I met the messengers and disguised spies of Jihadi activities. Tell them about my wishes. I read with this crazy thought. I think of going to Bangladesh once before committing jihadi acts. If there is any hope from my family about living on earth, I take this decision. Char told me that if they do this, they will break the relationship with me. I was really hurt by these words and admitted to myself that if there was any hope in Bangladesh, I would not have come to the United States. So I stayed in the US and left the world as fast as I could to do whatever I wanted.
After my arrest I had plenty of time to study Islam. I read the entire Quran, never had this opportunity before coming to prison. The more I read, the more I realized I had blindly followed the fundamentalists without understanding anything. I have not found a single verse in the Qur'an to support my planned course of action. Each day passed, and I was thanking God. Because I have never met a real person. If these guys hadn't found me, I don't know what would have happened. I am grateful to the United States for saving me from such ultimate suicidal misdeeds.
The day I was arrested, I started contacting Chars. From the beginning they treated me very well, which was almost unbelievable to me. I used to have fun with them. I remember telling them my favorite movie was 'American Pie'. They treated me like a younger brother in the meeting. Once an agent gave me his jacket because I was very cold. They wanted to know what I wanted for lunch.
After the food was brought we all ate as a family. I kept thinking how nice these bastards are to me when I hear from fundamentalists that Americans hate Muslims, and I want to blow up the Federal Reserve Bank.
I remember another day. I told them, I want to eat halal chicken. After some time, a char told me, today there is no halal chicken. At the same time, he wanted to know whether I will eat halal lamb meat or not? I was amazed at the honesty and respect they showed me. I realized that Islamic rules are more followed in the US than in Muslim countries.
My experience at MDC helped change my perception of America. I had some of the worst days of my life at SHU. But even during that difficult time I got all necessary help from the lieutenant of SHU. He was a very kind and sincere mentor to me.
In the beginning it was a bit difficult to adapt to the environment here. But slowly when I started mixing, they got to know about my real behavior, then they became friendly towards me. What I like about MDC is that everyone is treated equally with a neutral eye. I remember the 'holiday package' that MDC gave during Christmas. I was happy and surprised to receive this package. And I thought, whether I went against America, I also got this package; They said 'Happy Holidays' to us while giving the package. After going to the prison with the package, I felt really sorry for what I had done. I asked myself, that America believes in equal rights and justice, why did I go against it?
We Muslims can pray in MDC. Councilors, COs, Unit Managers are all respectful of religion. During the month of fasting, Siora wakes up around 3:30 am. MDC serves us good food at Sehri and Iftar. I have never eaten such delicious food as turkey, beef stew, peach fruit.
The US hired a good lawyer for me, Heidi C. Caesar, at no cost. Once again, I understand that the American people are neutral and equal. My lawyer Heidi is not only a good lawyer but also a good person. He used to visit me often during my stay at SHU. They were the only means of communication with my family members. He tried hard to understand me. He used close relatives like aunts or uncles with me.
MDC was the first place where I was able to discuss Islamic fundamentalism with people who were not fundamentalists. After reading the Quran and talking to some wise Muslims, I realized how wrong I was.
Fundamentalism has no place in Islam. I would never have done such a jihad if I had not been a victim of misfortune. Because, I never believed in Islamic fundamentalism from my heart. Now I understand how fundamentalism is distorted in the name of Islam. America is not the enemy of Islam, the enemies of Islam and Muslims are the fundamentalists.
i am prisoner I completely forgot about those beautiful days in USA. I gave up all hope of survival and started believing in fundamentalism. I had forgotten about life in Cape Giardeau, Missouri. Cape Giardeau is a great place. I think the people there are the nicest and friendliest in the world. Remembering a day. I am another Bangladeshi youth looking for an 'ATT Store'. We meet an old couple on the way. They told us that we are going in the wrong direction. I realized that we are far from the destination. The old couple offered to deliver us. Not only did they deliver to the store, they waited until we were done and delivered to our home. It seemed as if we were their grandchildren.
Where we lived, a woman worked in a pet shop across the street. He was very kind to me and respected my religion. He said he would help me find a job. Besides, I am reminded of an old classmate in physics class. Almost every day after class he used to drop me home in his car. I didn't have a calculator. After knowing that, he bought me a calculator for $100. He was like my friend.
Alas! Really regret those days now. I'm really unlucky! I don't have the words to explain to the lady at the pet shop or that old classmate how sorry I am for what I did. I feel indebted. I can never return the love I got from them.
To be honest, my attitude towards America has changed after being imprisoned. Honorable Judge, I love Americans. I should have been more patient. US citizens should be judged by their own conscience, not influenced by others. Whenever I look back now, I hate myself. I can't even imagine what I was going to do. I was in a daze. I was lucky that Chara was able to catch me. They saved me from a suicide attack. I have now found new meaning in life.
I have full opportunity to practice religion in prison. I have become more religious after coming here. I am memorizing the verses of the Holy Quran. I kept myself busy here by praying, reading books, watching TV, gossiping with others.
Honorable Judge, I am the only son of my parents. My elder sister is married. Father is 63 years old, mother is 52. I have a good relationship with my family. My parents love me very much. Before I was arrested, I didn't realize how much I loved them or how much they loved me. With the love of my parents, I see hope to live again on earth. I have broken their hearts by committing a heinous crime. They have brought me a new life built with love and peace. Looks like I'm back from the dead. Because inside I was completely dead. I always wished for my own death. But I can feel the beating inside my heart again. I want to live in the world for everything, especially for parents. Because they are everything in my life. I am nothing without them.'
I can't even imagine how much trouble I have put my parents through. But they still love me. My father lost his job because of me. They are living off their savings, sending money for me from there. Only Almighty Allah knows how long they can continue like this. I have no one to look after my elderly parents.
Honorable Judge, I would like to go to them as soon as possible. They are God's best gift to me. I live in the hope that one day I will be able to visit them before I leave the world. Please don't let me lose hope to live. Please excuse me. I am begging you for another chance.
Honorable Judge, I have made a serious mistake. Please have mercy on me. Consider the circumstances of my life before punishing me. A perfectly normal, calm I was about to commit the most violent crime in the history of human civilization. I humbly request you to forgive me for the grave offence. I apologize to you. I apologize through you to all citizens of the United States, especially those who work at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Honorable Judge, please give me hope to live. I beg your mercy. Please forgive me.
Yours faithfully
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